After All Is Not An Easy Waiting !!!

This is a post that is kind of hard for me to share. It is about my personal feelings for the last 5 years or so. My husband and I have been married for over 5 years. If you notice... I have not mentioned anything about kids on this blog. This is because we don't have any... yet. We have been praying and asking God about this very thing for some time. God's answer has been either not now, wait or completely NO. At this point, I'm really not sure which one.

 

For the first 4 years of our marriage, we didn't ask the doctor to find out if something was wrong with either of us( we were just kind of waiting and praying ). Not until this past April I did go to get a checkup and my husband as well. The tests revealed nothing wrong with my husband but my prolactin level a little bit high. I'm not sure if this is a factor in infertility. I'm starting to get frustrated. We don't want to get fertility treatment and those kind of things, for a couple of reasons mainly financial ( our insurance does not cover this plan ). At least, we know that neither of us have something major to worry about.  

 

I told my husband last month, when we found out that there is no baby yet, that I think I'm about give up on the whole process. I forced myself to keep waiting to see what God has in store for us. In the meanwhile I just take my vitamins, pray and keep hoping.

 

 

I never thought that the feeling of waiting and hoping for a precious baby would be so hard. For the first 3 years, we were still OK with waiting and just enjoyed trying. I guess that fun didn't  hit me until I realized .... I'm not young anymore :)  

 

We knew that we wanted to have a baby from the beginning of our marriage. I came from a big family ( 5 siblings ) and ,as far as I know, my Mom never had a problem having a baby. My husband came from a large family as well. My in-laws did have a hard time having a baby too and even adopted a baby boy before being blessed with 3 more boys. Most of the time, we never know how God will work in our life.

 

 

I cried and kept asking God to show us what is His plan in our life about this matter. Especially, this past week I just felt so down and just want to cry and cry. I ask God if He plans to give us a baby ! Please... before we reach age 40 (we both are in the mid 30's or close to 40). You know with all those precious little kids you need lots of energy. I guess I just need more faith. We have to trust that if God will bless us with one He will bless us with energy to run around and keep up with that child too.

 

Keep us in your prayer ( especially me ) and I will keep reminding myself of these verses

 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him. and He shall direct thy paths !!